A few years back I won a mountain bike at a raffle at the Sea Otter Classic, out in Monterey, California. I didn’t need the bike, so back home my esteemed amigo, Doug Emerson, agreed to swap the credited mountain bike for a townie–a Bianchi Milano. Doug’s shop, University Bikes, graciously built up a Milano in my size and away I went.
Seven seasons later and the thing was still kicking some butt. My needs in a townie, though, had changed. The better half should be popping out a couple twin boys here in the next two weeks, so we figured there’d be serious need for a trailer. After much hand-wringing, we decided to let the Milano go and upgrade.
As I’d won the bike, I couldn’t in good conscience sell the thing. A contest. Yes, indeed, a contest would be the best means to redistribute my trusted steed. Below you’ll find my post on Craigslist–which I linked to my blog here, incidentally–and below that, the winning essay, penned by a local gent named Josh. I received more than a dozen entries, some of them pretty good…and a few absolutely dismal.
Congrats to Josh! He and his wife will be moving to Ankara, Turkey. Josh’s wife works for the Foreign Service and has a job in the embassy there! May the Milano bring the joy of many kilometers pedaled amongst new friends.
*Eco-righteous and those who appreciate a townie with a little soul:
I hereby offer you one (1) free used Bianchi Milano, provided you win an informal, no-holds-barred essay contest. Send me 500 words describing why you deserve this tried-and-true, faithful steed and include a few thoughts on how you’ll use it. This is a well-used townie, with fully functional internal rear hub (Shimano Nexus), fenders (front one cracked in front of the fork), a chain guard, grip-shift, a comfy saddle, and all the blood-and-guts you’ll need for an city-worthy commuter bike. Your essay must convey how and why this bike will keep you out of your car…extra points for pithy remarks on why cars are evil and the mechanical incarnation of Darth Cheney, BP, Sean Hannity, etc.
The bike is going well, but were you to take it to its home at University Bikes, I’d recommend you have the capable staff there true the front wheel, adjust the bottom bracket (replacing it probably wouldn’t hurt), and perhaps swap out the brake pads. Other than that, this bike could jump Boulder Creek in a red-assed minute. I did it just last week.
This beautiful ride served me well over the past seven years, but the time has come to upgrade. My woman is knocked up with twins and I will soon be towing a double-wide with two (2) screeching boys in it.
Please submit all essays via email by responding to this post. The lucky winner (1) will be selected sometime in early June. No cheating, copying Obama speeches, or offering me happy endings–this is a contest to be decided on the merits of one (1) 500(five hundred)-word essay. You may attach pics of yourself, the nuder the better.
Winner must come get the bike or pay shipping/packing costs.
(Also accepting applications for superhot nannies. Soft hands and loose morals go to the front of the line.)
Ah – the Bianchi Milano. I was akin to such a fine vehicle once- but alas, ‘twas not meant to be (at the time). In 2006 I was a student at the University. I learned through the Environmental Center about a no-interest loan on bicycles as a way to encourage alternative transportation. After a short bit of bureaucracy, I was approved for a small loan and, as such, I proceeded to U-Bikes on 9th. It was my intent to purchase a bomb-proof commuter that would last a lifetime. Everyone agreed that the Milano was both functional and beautiful. I went on my way with my new shiny bike.
The next morning I was headed south on Folsom through the light at Spruce. An unkind driver (stormtooper in a tie fighter) made a right hand turn without looking and l slammed into the side of her car. She stopped only long enough to scold me for running into her car…
My new bike was banged up, but not too bad. I sold the thing on CL for $250.
In the meantime, I’d been bussing it pretty much all the time.
Fast forward to summer 2009 – Finally got a NEW bike, crushed it all summer, no driving, no bussing! It too, was a bomb proof ride. Check this out. Now I am out 2 bikes.
Now that I’ve got your attention –
It seems that you and I are both going through some big life changes right now – yours a far greater battle than mine. My wife will soon be deployed abroad as a Foreign Service Specialist. I will be a “trailing spouse”, and we will not be bringing cars with us. Most of the posts are in developing and underdeveloped nations, and are simply more easy and convenient to navigate by bicycle, like the locals do. As such, I am looking to pimp out a bitchin’ USED commuter with run flat tires maybe a generator and saddle bags, etc. as it will be my only form of transportation.
Anyhow – there’s my plea. I need a bike and my bike karma has to be kicking by now. BTW, you asked for nudes, so here is a shot of my pussy.
