It’s festival season! Which means it’s time to get your fun on, show that winter skin to the sun and get out of the house for a weekend, a week or three unforgettable months. Since I am a veteran of more than a couple decades of outdoor Colorado concerts (does anyone else here remember seeing John Denver at Red Rocks?), I thought I might share some well-earned wisdom about the things you may want to do and bring on your Great Festival Adventure, and the things you don’t. I’m sure anyone who’s ever watched the sky turn yellow and the sun turn blue over a Rocky Mountain stage will gladly offer their own insight. Just ask them. And feel free to share those sage thoughts with us. Here’s my little list:
Do Bring: The Kids
I don’t have kids. And it drives me crazy when parents let their rugrats make a playroom out of the local restaurant. But thanks to my folks, I got to make some lifelong memories swinging under the constellations to some of the greatest stars in the Milky Way of music—many of whom I never would’ve seen anywhere else. Throw in all the other kids, face-painting booths, mountain air and a big picnic basket, and you’ve got one full family performance.
Don’t Bring: The Dog
I love dogs. I stop and talk to them on the street. Sometimes I never even make eye contact with the human on the other end of the leash. But I would never bring my dog to a concert. They get hot. They get bored. Everything they want to do, you tell them they can’t. And Jerry Garcia forbid some jackass breaks out the fireworks. Best to leave pup back at home or in the condo, where in the morning you can take them for a nice mountain walk.
Do Smoke: The Weed
It’s legal. It’s easy to ingest. And depending on your tolerance, a good pot high can last about as long as a really good set of music. Best of all, it also wears off. Which means when the show is over, you can get back to real people business.
Don’t Take: The Acid
Especially that second hit. Unless you’re kicking off your own personal Burning Man weekend, the LSD is probably not your best choice for a concert drug. Last time I “did the acid,” I hardly watched the show, never danced with my girlfriend, and ended up at a Hell’s Angels birthday party with a bluegrass band (which, I admit, was actually pretty cool). Except the next day, when a friend finally drove me home in my own International Scout II, I had to ask him to pull over because I thought the dashboard was starting to melt.
Do Drink: The Beer
Along that same, “how-much-of-a-buzz-do-you-really-want?” train of thought (especially after what you paid for concert tickets), beer is a great way to maintain a nice low-level of interactive inebriation throughout your music-going night.
Don’t Drink: The Gin
Gin, however, is not a festival/concert/rock-and-roll kind of drink—unless you are listening to Dean Martin in some Palm Springs tavern in 1966. It’s anger-inducing, violently effective in small doses, and not recommended for anyone wearing anything other than a tuxedo. A friend of mine got so drunk on gin at Stevie Ray Vaughn’s very last Red Rocks show that he kept wailing as we were carrying him out, “I just want to hear ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb.’” “Yeah,” we replied. “He just played it.”
Do Bring: A Tent and Sleeping Bags
You never know when you might need it. Especially if (and when) you first hear and fall in love with some new band, and someone hands you tickets to see them again, and again, for the next two to five nights.
Don’t Bring: That Damn Boom Box
Nothing ruins a great evening of live music faster than some wannabe DJ cranking Kanye at the next campsite.
Do: Surprise Yourself
Whether you love reggae, jam bands, country, rock, gospel, bluegrass or house, check out something new. Bring an open ear, and you may never forget it.
Don’t: Stay Home
People very rarely learn big new things at home. Unless you’ve got a really cool house.
Do Share: Your Smile
Be nice, and you’ll get nice back. It’s a concert. It’s supposed to be a friendly place.
Don’t Share: Your Politics
Leave that stuff at home—especially this summer! It’s not that kind of concert. And nothing takes the ‘f’ out of fun faster than an argument.
Do Expect: To Have an Awesome Time
The fun train is leaving the station, all summer long. Be glad you’re on it.
Don’t Expect: Anything Less
Be safe. Dance your ass off. And enjoy your friends and yourself. I hope to see you out there.
—Elevation Outdoors editor-at-large Peter Kray is the author of The God of Skiing. The book has been called “the greatest ski novel of all time.” Don’t believe the hype? You can buy it here: bit.ly/godofskiing
