Seeking clarity is a thread that has woven itself through every chapter, stage and piece of my life for as long as I can remember.
From the “why” years of my childhood, through my college and post-graduate work, into my young adulthood and continuing through my parenting years; the desire to understand has gradually turned into a need for understanding…as much as possible.
Understanding the science and natural history around us; our electoral process; how to be more compassionate, articulate and empathetic; what makes me feel me, how to parent better, what the best version of myself can look like…the list goes on. Seeking clarity has become a major component of my lifelong learning journey and in coming such, I’ve found myself embracing the allure of sitting and spinning loaded bicycles from point A to point B to find answers to – even if only a subset – the many “big” questions I’ve always asked myself: Who am I? What are my bare bones needs – my “must haves” vs “like to haves”? What am I capable of? Who the hell am I? (ya, I know I asked that one already…)
I truly believe that we don’t know the answer if we don’t ask the question, and lately my questions have been stacking up. Is my need to embrace long days in the saddle, outside, seeking this clarity, a factor of my mid-30s, millennial status? Is it a direct response to what could sometimes feel like a personal attack as a woman/wife/mother? Is it an identity quest? Is it due to this strange post-covid world we’re attempting to survive (better yet, thrive) in – a survival pursuit, in a sense? Is it simply my next chapter in a long journey of outdoor pursuits? Turning the page…
Whatever the reason, I seem to keep finding myself loading my bike and spinning into sub-24 hour quests with new friends and livelong partners…
Equipped with simple essentials and a few creature comforts, I’m slowly finding answers to questions…and adding new ones along the way.
